Perfectionist.

Perfect girl in a nutshell: 

Independent (She got her own). Cooks. Loves. Big, firm, juicy, butt. Smart. Witty. Strange. Funny. Most importantly: Interested in me. 

Okay, lets get back to reality. What are the chances that a girl can be smart, witty, AND have a big, firm, juicy, butt? And if she does have that big, firm, juicy, butt, what are the chances that she's going to be smart? "Life is about balance". 

Sigh...

Abandon.

As we grow up, some of us attempt to live life to the fullest. Yes, we must fullfill our utmost hopes and dreams without worrying about the possible consequences of failure. Those consequences can be bargained with when we're young, considering you have your parents' safety net. For example, you could spend all your earnings on clothes and candy but in the end, you would still have as much earnings as your parents do. You may get a little lecture on how to manage your money but 'what the hey' life's great!

What happens if you don't have that safety net?
I don't.

Hypothetically, if you had a son, wouldn't you want him to have a healthy life? Wouldn't you want to supply him with the necessary tools of LIFE before letting him live on his own? And when you do let him go, wouldn't you still keep an eye on him because well, he's your son for God sake.

What happen to her 'motherly instincts'? I've realized that not ALL moms possess that gift.
All my life, I've lived with my grandma. I've seen my mom about once every year for a short period of time (for the past 3 years, i havent seen her at all). She has never given me advice, she has never taught me 'manners'. She has always had money though, so she has paid for my car insurance and my phone bill. Well now, i guess my mom has finally come to her senses, she realized that i'm not worth that $150 a month and has decided to completely disown me. Sympathy? Pshh. I need none. I've lived more than half of my life without having to deal with her. I could live the rest of it the same way. 

Though, mother, I have some questions for you. 

Why?

Why must you leave me? How horrible of a son must i've been for you to completely abandon me? I've slowly matured throughout the years, therefore I will swallow my pride and apologize. I apologize for failing to be the perfect son you envisioned me to be. I'm sorry you gave birth to this monster, so I don't blame you mother. I don't blame you for leaving me on the doorsteps of my grandmother's house, like harry potter. 

People always leave. Even your mom. 

Kleptomaniac

Someone who steals 'worthless' items for no apparent reason. 

'She' is a kleptomaniac, why steal my heart away? its worthless to you. 

I would have given it to you, if you just asked. Its worthless to me. 

-Ken. 

What You Want and Whats Morally Right.

Have you ever yearned for something and got so close to getting it, but you let it slip away? The next thing you know you're in your car singing all the sad love songs on your playlist. 

These things happen when you don't know what you want. We seem to be so assured of ourselves and yet we can't decide what in actuality we want. Consistently pondering on whether or not this is the right decision, ignoring the fact of what's morally right. Somewhere during your lifespan, you will have to make sacrifices. Sometimes those sacrifices will indeed benefit you in the future, considering you're sacrificing the present for the future. But then again, you continue to ask yourself "Is this really worth it?". Is it really worth sacrificing the gift of the present for the future when you have no idea of what the future has in store for you? 

I am unwilling to establish any type of commitment. Perhaps not necessarily unwilling but afraid. 

We learn to live with what we've lost. Sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself because you know deep inside you're really not worth her time. Just be thankful that you got to spend some time with her, and let her go. You may want her, but its morally right to let her go, cause she deserves so much better. 

Hypothetical. 

Lets set some goals, not a checklist.

Some things to do before I leave this world. (in no specific order)
1. Meet Alyssa Bernal & give her a hug.
2. Score 30pts in a league game because i feel like i'm capable.
3. Make a youtube video and have 100 people view it.
4. Be committed to one significant other and begin a new life with her.
5. Fight a grizzlybear.
6. Open a boba store, casino, or korean bbq restaurant.
7. Play a song on the piano for a girl, have her jumby over it.
8. Write a song.
9. Write and publish my own Hallmark card.
10. Go to a Detroit Pistons game.
11. Have a good dream come true.
12. Witness a poltergeist.
13. Sing in front of an audience, and sound good.

More to come.

Meet Mike.

CT, DJ KS COLLABO feat. Alyssa Bernal a.k.a kenny's wifey. from Michael Angeles on Vimeo.

Blogspot, i'm sure you are already quite acquainted with Mr. Mike, but to all my fans out there, meet Michael a.k.a CT camel toe. Great(est) friend of mine, visits almost every summer and i may not say it but i appreciate it dearly no bruno. 

Alyssa Bernal is still my dream girl, if you're reading this, please marry me =]

People Understand.

So I was listening to this song (no homo) and it made me realize a few things. Life gets a little easier to endure when friends and family accept you for your craziness. Those are the kind of people I would want to stick around. Everyone has those moments where everything is just going downhill and you just want to hide. Someone who understands knows your tendencies and continue to endure life WITH you. Sooner or later smiles are inevitable when you realize you're accepted.
This notion also light bulbs me on the subject of troubled relationships. This might sound superficial but if we can all look pass the exteriors of individuals, we could possibly find 'love'. Love seekers are blinded by the exterior perception of an individual, which is somewhat ironic because true love can only be found INSIDE. Most relationships end due to lack of communication. We fail to accept each other for the flaws that we all possess. We fail to set aside our own wants and needs to consider our loved one's wants and needs. This is a give and receive world, you can't expect to receive all the time (no pun intended).

-Kenny.

What Are The Chances.

The simple things you do, your laugh, your smile, makes my beating heart race,
I hate how every night i make a wish, hoping that it would remain at this pace.
They've warned me before that life is full of surprises, but also full of flaws.
Who would of thought that He would send me perfection and the biggest present of them all?
Sometimes with a simple gaze i find myself dumbfounded, giving her a blank stare.
She teases me with a slight smirk, and acts as if she doesn't even care.
With no intent, she slowly becomes the remedy for my heartaches, putting them to an end.
Changing my life entirely, driving me to yearn for 'forever' again.
Our paths shouldn't have ever crossed, her road is smooth and the sky's aren't gray.
I must of have taken a wrong turn, cause life just doesn't work out this way.
She keeps me steadily sane but also inevitably drives me insane,
Now things will never be the same, after she slowly kissed away the pain.
We shouldn't be together, different dreams, different views, even different skin tone,
but i promise if that chance is given to me, ill make sure you'll never be alone.


-Kenny Hin.

Your Flaws Are Beautiful.

I don't understand. 

I made her feel special. I made her heart skip a beat when she saw me. I made her realize that I may be the one. I made her feel like a princess, even though in reality, she was a wreck. What more can someone ask for? I embraced your flaws, made them beautiful, and made you MY perfect girl. 

"She didn't steal my heart, I GAVE it to her"

Quote; Kenny Hin to ???????

Yet you turn around and step on the heart i gave you with the shoes i bought you. You judged my flaws, put me down, but dumb as i was, i stuck around. 

I know I'm not the perfect guy; 

Physically I may not have the cutest face. My eyebrows are indeed a little hairy. My nose is a little on the pointy side, but my luscious lips make up for it ;). Well at least thats what she said. 

I'm not the brightest light bulb, but i assure you i'm definitely not the dimmest. My goals are set, but don't expect me to be filthy rich. I have dreams, i possess the drive to go somewhere one day. I guess you can say potential at its fullest. 

How do you expect me to stick around when all you see are my flaws? Usually when the relationship moves on, people begin to notice the flaws in a person. If you don't choose to embrace it, you start running into trouble. Though if you do, you might just bring out the best in someone, and perhaps feel something different. Something beautiful. When i figure out what that feeling is, ill tell you. To be continued...

-Kenny Hin

Package Deal.

Comedian Alan King once said, "If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books". 

Haha, very funny Alan.

That's sarcasm at its finest if you didn't sense it. How can these two words NOT be associated with each other? We live in a world where individuals constantly whine and complain about how marriages are so dysfunctional. As 'normal' humans, we conform with society and find it okay to file divorces as if they were our taxes. 

Just the thought about marriage right now scares the living shit out of me, but I do know, in time, i will eventually go down that path. What can I say? I'm a sucker for love. A sucker for LOVE, i said. This love thing should always lead to marriage, because marriage puts the stamp on the envelop. 

Yes we all have our definitions for marriage and reasons why we should get married. Some may be motivated financially, some because they believe it's 'time' to settle down etc, etc. 

"Its time to settle down"

How do we know when that time is? We spend our lives soul searching and apparently now, we have a time limit? Just because we've reached the age of 30, the next person we date, we're gonna 'settle down' with that person? Why is he/she so lucky (or not)? We've created an awful mentality for ourselves. Marriage is a big step. We can't tip toe through this stepping stone. 

I'd marry someone because I can't live my life without her. I'd marry someone because I can't help but smile every time i look at her, every time we fight, and every second i spend with her. I'd marry someone because i love that person. No other aspect should interfere with my decision. 

Whatever happen to plain old i love you, you love me, lets get married!? 

-Kenny Hin

Unfortunately Fortunate.

I won. 

I won the lottery with a jackpot worth $1,000,000,000. Putting the wide ranges of emotions rushing ecstatically throughout my system aside, I would first ensure my grandmama moves out of this dump of a living place and send her off somewhere she can garden happily. What I do next could ultimately determine the road I choose to journey in my life. I could: 

1. Buy a beach house, drop out of school, get married, and perhaps live the rest of my life without stressing. 

2. Keep some of it and the rest will go to hard-working families that demonstrate their destitution ( i know, horrible). 

I assume that most would select choice number 1, simply because thats the easy way out. Some may find it satisfying to live a life when everything is given to you. You may have won a fast pass to the good life but on the other side, you may have lost something money can't buy: The genuine-ness (not a word) within people, and maybe even yourself. The people around you, the so-called new 'friends' of yours, what's their ultimate motive in being around you? Perhaps some you can believe that they are truly there for the your sake, yet on the other hand, can you really trust the rest? Therefore you live the rest of your life in doubt of everyone. 

Life is full of surprises, experiences, happiness, challenges, etc. These are all things we all must go through to get the most in life. We fall only to see ourselves climb back up and feel that utter sensation of triumph. We lose the ones we love to consequently cherish the ones we still have. We learn from our mistakes so that we can fall harder in love, all over again.

What fun would it be if everything was written out for you? How much do you get out of life if you swing at every pitch thrown at you? How boring would life be if everything was perfect? 

and plus, what's the point of all this fame and fortune if you don't have anybody worthy to share it with? Psh. 

-Kenny Hin

Alyssa Bernal

She's an angel. I can't wait for us to get married. Sigh... I wish.

Different Dimension.

In a distant place far beyond my grasp is a dimension where anything can happen. The supernatural is existent but only when I fall in to this trance. Unlike reality, in this place I have no control over my actions, I'm simply an observer, a spectator of some sort. 

Dream. 

Where does our mind/body/spirit go when we fall asleep? Why can we travel to the utmost craziest places by not even lifting a finger? Why do I always wake up naked? Haha. 

I hate 24 hr fitness, i was having such a great dream and it was ruined by some guy trying to get me to join their club FML.

=Kenny Hin

Memory Switching Lanes.

So many regrets, so many wishes and forgets, so many "i wish we never mets'", 

Blame it on time, it goes by oh so fast, its best you cherish it, it won't last. 

Haha, It's weird to start off with a little poetry huh? I wish i had more time to just sit down and write poems, but we all know how life is living in the fast lane. 

We live each day accumulating memories, whether they're good or bad, our lives adapt and change according to what we've accumulated. This is human nature, but we must not CONFORM! I hate writing about this subject sometimes but we know to keep our guard up when it comes to the "L" word, because we've been hurt once before and we don't want go through it again right? Personally, I don't believe in the "holding your guard up because you don't want to get hurt" philosophy. I find it unfair that the asshole before me fucked up my chances at (maybe) the girl of my dreams. Why didn't he have to fight through your guarded heart? What makes him so special? I'm not saying don't cherish the moments you two had together because happy memories are hard to come around these days, but don't let it prevent you from exploring new horizons. Booth Tarkington once said "Cherish all your happy moments; they make fine cushion for old age". Believe it, you're stuck when senior citizen comes around, sometimes the only thing keeping you alive is happy thoughts. Some might say, "you learn from these mistakes",but what is there really to learn? No one is the same person. This is not math. You can not expect me to make the same mistakes he did. So treasure the happy memories, whomever the memories are made with, but let them be just memories, not detours in a life's course. 

-Kenny Hin

Motivation.

Reason. We all have a reason to live but motivation is what takes us to the next level. Motives are what dictates my actions; my catalyst for exceeding all expectations. 

My friend and I were talking the other day and the topic of "why do you work out?" came up. I tried to narrow it down to one answer, but there are so many. First and foremost I want to stay healthy, stay fit, live a little longer. Then there's security, being strong doesn't hurt when you're getting in a fight. Also security for the loved ones, I want my friends and family to know that if they're around me, they should feel safe and secure. For the girlfriend, where ever she is, that if she's willing to take the risk in falling in love with an asshole like me, there will be benefits that come along with her (dumb) decision. And I'm sure she'll be 'happy' with caressing my hot bod rather than a beer belly. 

the long run 

My lack of motivation for earning a education can be easily cured my envisioning my life 10 years from now. My wife, my kids, my house, my OWN family, they're going to need me. The amount of success I achieve will ultimately determine their direction. Plus, i want to live in a beach house. I want to see my kids play in the sand. I want watch the sun sink into the ocean. I want late night skinny dips with my fiancee. I want to eat dinner under the moonlight. If i were to live that life, i would have first have to live this life. 

"Shoots"

-Kenny HIn

Life Is Great, Then Reality Strikes.

I was tossing and turning, it felt as if my heart was burning (no intentions in rhyming). I woke up realizing that my 4 day rest has finally come to an end. My life was great during that time span:basketball, gym, eat, sleep. It was a routine, and i loved it oh so much. 

Today, i work. FML. 

My so-called Paradise had to come to an end sooner or later, like I said, life's great until reality strikes. 

God teases you, He will let you experience some happiness and then fucks you up when you're about to reach ecstasy. 

I've come to one and only one conclusion to all this massacre, "Life is about BALANCE". Yin and Yang. Hot and Cold. You win some, you lose some. For instance, you're a college student, you quit your job because juggling school and work is just too much. Yes, you will be poor. Yes, you will be very hungry. Yes, you will window shop every time you go to the mall. BUT, at the same time, you will learn. You will be investing on a successful future. You're a fatass and starving a little won't hurt your appearance, and by losing a few pounds, you find yourself a decent girlfriend and get laid! Ok, not a good example but that's all I could think of at the moment and you get my point. So i guess what i'm trying to say is, don't be sad for too long, something great is about to happen. ha. 

"She didn't steal my heart, I gave it to her." 

-Kenny Hin

Mind as well.

Everyone's doing it, i guess i will too. 

It's very unlike me that i condone with popularity but with the mindset of a journalist i could find some sense in blogging. 

Lately i've realized that I'm a little too comfortable with being in the dark, i mean it is summer, and it is only human to find shade but even in my room, my living room, at night. I just enjoy being in dark places. Does this make me emo? Everyday i come home from the gym or running some errands, i see my blinds open and an immense light brightening my room. I assume my grandma had opened them but it bothers me, the light bothers me. This is not a metaphor appealing to me avoiding heaven but could it be a sign?

I find it interesting how i find so much comfort in the dark, one because i use to be scared of the dark and two, I'm such a optimistic person. Happiness is represented by bright colors etc, not darkness. Perhaps the astrology is right, i always contradict myself. 

"I love you with my all my heart, if i still had one" 

-Kenny Hin